Many times in my Christian walk I am humbled. We have to be humbled, of course. We can't go around thinking we are all that and a bag of chips 24/7 without having the conviction at times of how small and insignificant we actually are - without his love and grace, of course.
It's actually funny when I think about it. I think I have it all figured out - going through life, thinking in my mind that I have it all together (and even conciously trying to keep things simple), and before you know it - BAM! God gives you a slice of humble pie.
A lot of the times my conversations with God happen in my car (because it seems like I drive drive drive all of the time). It's weird when God puts things on your heart at times. It can seem to come out of nowhere, but it's definitely happening for a reason.
Today - the subject was love. Not romantic love, not paternal/maternal love, not love for my animals, or material things, or my job. It was God's love. It was him taking all of my jumbled up thoughts, thinking about this, and that, and this, and that - and it all cleared away. His warmth and love and grace surrounded me, as if he were giving me a big hug. It simplified every situation that I worry about, every problem at work that I think about, wedding plans that I already want to start on, and even my obsessions of things that seem so far off. And in that moment, I felt his grace so strong, and felt nothing but pure love.
Nothing significant happened, really. Actually, for me many times, it's more of realizing that all of your problems are so small and minute. So in those moments, soak up his love, close your eyes, take it all in and feel his grace. What an amazing feeling.
In one of my therapy sessions a while back, my therapist explained God's love (and how you should love others) in a really cool way. She said that obviously, you have to love yourself first. And, when you love yourself, and you focus on God's love, his love POURS out of you. It overflows. And when it overflows, you never feel tired, or exhausted from trying to be everything to everyone. It happens effortlessly. I hope to be that person from which love overflows.
So, I just want to say: If you backstab me - guess what? I love you. If you talk bad about me, I love you. If you absolutely hate me with every fiber of your being - I love you. And I forgive you. God forgave me, what makes me think that I shouldn't or can't forgive you? And forgiveness is an amazing feeling.
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